doctor's life support

2nd February: First Night

When you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43:2

I remember my first night on call as a houseman as if it were only yesterday. All the excitement and triumph of passing finals, the celebration and euphoria of it all, seemed far away, and now there was only the hard reality of being in a place far from home, where I knew no one apart from the few members of staff to whom I had been introduced that morning. I was the only doctor on site responsible for the care of some 30-40 medical patients, many of whom were desperately sick. And although I knew that help was easily available at the end of a telephone line from my senior house officer, that did little to alleviate for me the rather sickening feeling that you get when you've just been thrown in the deep end of a pool and you've only just learned to swim. I slipped out of the ward during a brief lull in the storm, rang some friends back in London, told them how I felt and asked them to pray. They did -- and their prayers must have been answered in the affirmative, as I came through the night alive, even if with very little sleep.

Looking back on it, I see that part of the problem was that, although highly taught in theoretical text book material, I was very ill-prepared in fact to face the concrete reality of house-jobs. I think things could have been much less traumatic if I had been more gently initiated and previously warned about the predictable problems.

I hope that things are a little better for you if this is your first day, but if (as you read this) you are finding things too much for you, then I suggest two practical lines of action.

1. Do as I did, and share your feelings with a Christian friend -- in person if you are fortunate enough to have someone understanding close at hand -- or over the phone if not. Knowing that someone is sharing your burden is a great help.

2. Try to see your present situation in the light of God's will and future plan for you. It is very unlikely that the Lord has brought you through your five years of medical training in order to let you go under completely at this stage and sink without trace. The river, even though it be deep, will not overwhelm you. So, like Joshua, `be strong and of good courage'. God will not fail you.

Lord, among the pressures of work and deprivation of sleep
I may face tonight, help me to keep close to you and trust
you to bring me through. Cause me to grow in ability and
confidence as the weeks pass, yet remain humble in doing so.

Further reading: Is 43:1-4. 1 Sa 23:16. Rom 5:1-5.

TGS